Question Re: Authentic Silent Meditation
Categories: 2 QnA
Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krishna
Obeisances to all Vaishnavas,
Today I wrote to Hadai Nityananda Prabhu about a certain question about Authentic Silent Meditation of the Holy names of Nityananda Gauranga and Hare Krishna Mahamantra. He gave a very detailed and a clear answer and he thought everyone else would benefit from this and hence he asked me to post it here. So here it is.
I summarise my question. I had a wonderful realization last week while doing Authentic Silent meditation, usually I do it I am blocked by this wall of self absorption and false ego. In that realization I got a small glimpse that I am not the body and the mind and am a servant of Lord Gauranga Krishna and it was one of the most blissful experiences.
I thought this happened because of concentration as by concentration sattva increases(as per my meagre understanding of Patanjali Yoga Sutra) and thus that created the realization but as I tried to do the same procedure, it was not happening and the self absorption seem to increase and even my eyes started paining. So regarding this I asked him a question, what caused the expereince? how can I be fixed in that realization? And if I am going wrong in the practice. And his reply is as follows.
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I am very happy to hear that you had such a wonderful realization. Yes when we see the ups and downs of life from the ‘freedom point of view’ we are the witness. It’s like sitting on the vast and quiet bottom of the ocean floor while looking up at the waves on the surface naturally going up and down: you see the turbulence, you notice it, but you remain quiet and relaxed and anchored to the vast quietness of the depth not being moved by the waves of the surface. So both perceptions are there simultaneously, but your identification is with one over the other.
The stream of thoughts will not really leave, never, you have to tolerate it. Accept everything as it occurs and never fight it. As soon as you fight you are engaged and identifying with what you fight. No, just accept it, witness it, but don’t DO anything with it. What you are experiencing are the tracks. There are many layers or tracks of thinking, almost unbroken chains of thoughts and sometimes you can experience them simultaneously. Leave them for what they are. Then they will come and go, that means you are aware and/or not-aware of them. Those are the waves on the surface. As soon a you give them special attention and you are ‘zapped’ to the surface. Let it be and you are allowed to stay where you are. Allowed! Yes…because:
….that perfect experience you had is something that overcame you. Such an experience you cannot grab. You cannot say ‘and now I want to experience that happiness’ and it is there. No you are allowed (by the grace of the Lord) to get a glimpse of transparency in which everything turns into Him. You can never ever grab that. It is impossible. We don’t even long for it because that is in the direction of grabbing. We are not looking forward to any experience because that would only be your ego creating an (illusionary) outcome. No we are patiently allowing everything to happen and within all that we keep our attention to be on: ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. Besides ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’ there are the other tracks: shopping list, study material, agenda, time factor, feelings, sounds in the environment, etc. These are the ‘other layers’ and we prefer ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. It’s like driving on the road…our main focus is on the road and not what flies by on the left and right.
Having said that there is one more thing: DO NOT CONCENTRATE. Gently shift your awareness, but don’t ‘hammer’ your focus. ‘Whenever your attention drifts away from ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’ you GENTLY bring it back to ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. Sometimes that feels easy and natural, sometimes not. Those feelings are secondary tracks. The only thing you really DO is following the main track: ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’.
Patanjali calls this phase ‘pratyahara’ or withdrawing the senses form their objects. We do that in the form of following the Supreme Object: ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. Normally darana and dyana come after pratyahara but we do them all at once. We don’t fully withdraw our senses from the objects, because that would include the Supreme Object. We don’t want to lose the Lord in the process and merge into His radiant light. No, while we withdraw our senses form the objects we do that by exclusively being with the Lord. So we focus (darana) on Him and we even go into the flow of observing His Being and Activities (dyana) and eventually we get totally absorbed in Him and His Activities (samadhi). So although our path looks similar to that of Patanjali’s there is a subtle difference: we don’t lose all objects during pratyahara, we keep One: the Lord Who in turn allows and guides us into darana, dyana and samadhi.
Very good question, good experience: just a slight adjustment. The burning eyes are because of concentration, effort, trying hard, laboring. During ASM we do less and less and more and more is happening. As long as we are occupied with ourselves al we see is ourselves; a planet of illusion. But when we follow the main track we get more and more absorbed in the Lord, our egos stepping aside allowing the Lord to take a seat. So try less and observe shifting your attention to ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’ is the main track which we are following in the quietness of our observation. Then, in the course of the meditation all what is happening becomes more subtle, and even more subtle, and very very faint, and still we follow faithfully the process of having our attention on ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’. The zoom zoom on the left and right, the landscape we drive through, changes all the time, but our focus on ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’ is increasing tremendously and is our only ‘anchor’ within the turbulence of the zoom zoom left and right. Nityananda is the vehicle. In a way He invites us in His celestial car and He drives that car. We basically do nothing although it seems we ‘produce’ the Nityananda mantra, which is the last illusion we have created for ourselves, like His car, He being the driver, etc. but that is our last string of attachment to our imagination…He will take that away and then you fall into experiences as you described. When you go more often into these experiences you will see that every time you ‘slip’ into one, you did absolutely nothing and it really overcomes you. Although we want to be all the time in such an experience, it is not up to us it is up to Him. Our only concern is to make place for such a experience. The secret is that the Lord is always, any moment willing to fill you with that experience. He is knocking on your inner door all the time: ‘please let Me give you this awesome experience, make room!’ ASM is making space for Him to come in so He can take a seat in our hearts. As a result of this subtle training our chanting improves as well because our inner muscle to stay focussed on Him is more trained on the subtle levels.
I hope the above sheds some light on your recent experiences and gives you some insight into the subtleties of the practice of ASM. Thanks for letting me pointing out the fine line between patanjali’s way of pratyara and the bhakti way of pratyahara. Although the line is fine, the difference is huge.
Daaso’smi Hadai Nityananda dasa
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by Bhushan Nityananda dasa on Nov 17, 2009 at 21:29 Reply Top
Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krishna
Some further comments to shed light on how one can realize that how the Holy names carry us and appear by Themselves. Also some insights into japa meditation and how to do it rightare shared. Article by by Shriman Hadai Nityananda Prabhu.
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Yes it is hard to understand rationally but very easy with direct experience. The following is an easy exercise to actually experience the difference between producing and not-producing thoughts. When you close your eyes and you internalize for a minute or so, just observe, do nothing but observing. You feel some quietness, some rest, but within that quietness you will notice that thoughts are bubbling up. The thoughts are there spontaneously and you don’t have to do any effort. The thoughts are also random, you never really know the content of the thought that is arising, but one thing is for sure: they arise. This part of the exercise is to experience that thoughts arise spontaneously and there is no any effort from our part.
Now dive even deeper into the quietness where thoughts arise. Focus on the process of thoughts arising. You will find that before the thought has content there is an energy pulse. It is very subtle and it takes a few minutes to even notice, but before the thought arises containing content it is ‘naked’ and just an energy bubble. It is here where thoughts are still energy fluctuations of the mind, and some don’t even manifest as energy containing content, they stay below the surface of ever getting content. All the above happens spontaneously and we do literally nothing while this is happening. The same as that we do not have to do effort to make our heart beating. It just happens even when we are asleep. And when we focus on it we become aware of our heartbeat. The same is with our thought process.
So the above gives you direct experience of the thought process. Actually it gives you inside in where the root of our tongue lays which goes way deeper than the physical throat. When we want to dedicate our tongues to the Lord, when we want to control our senses which start with controlling the tongue, we have to know its root. Correction at the root is way easier than further along the road. It’s easier to change the course of the river just by its tiny source than hundreds of kilometers downstream where the river is roaring and full force. So at this source of our thoughts how can we assure that the energy of our thought will become ‘Nityananda’? The answer is simple: we can’t. It is all His mercy. However what we can do is being open for His mercy. The best word I can find here is anticipation or even aspiration. When you want the Lord in your life, when you want the Lord from deep within yourself, when you cry for Him, when you deeply, deeply long for Him: He will make His entrance. He will take over your energy bubbles with His Name. So it is our deepest inner desire for the Lord that makes that He will come and shape our thoughts with His Name.
There is a tremendous difference when you just say ‘Nityananda’ on the surface or when Lord Nityananda enters on that subtle level at the spring of your thoughts. When He enters you absolutely recognize Him and the course of your river is entirely shaped by His will. When He enters you are His. In the practice of ASM it goes something like this: you recognize that all your thoughts are arising spontaneously and you have your awareness on that subtle level. Now the Lord’s Name ‘Nityananda’ comes in the same spontaneous way as all the other thoughts. There is no effort at all from our part. So look for Him at that subtle state of awareness. He will come because you have that desire. Just patiently wait.
The problem with many devotees when they do japa is: hurry. Often we try to finish our rounds within a certain amount of time and we chant against the clock. We easily drift of to other tracks of our thoughts and the holy Names are repeated on automatic pilot. The beads keep our count so we really can go anywhere with the mind in the mean time. But when we really want to chant, really connecting with the Lord, we need a different attitude. We need to get absorbed in His Names. We need to slow down. Sometimes when I do japa and I notice my mind tries to wander off, I just sing His Names an entire round. That definitely slows me down because such a round takes about four times more time. The same is with ASM. When you quickly start to think ‘Nityananda, Nityananda, Nityananda’ you are producing His Name. But when you take the time to sit down, become quiet, bring your focus to the subtleties within and patiently wait for Him, a whole different experience emerges. And you will instantly know the difference between producing the syllables and Him manifesting His syllables. This all happens at the root of our tongue.
Being acquainted with the subtleties of how my thoughts arise, I can connect my japa (which seems more on the surface) to this subtle plane. Real meditation only takes place when our senses are withdrawn from the many objects that distract our minds. During meditation we really want to be alone with the Supreme Object: The Lord. We cannot force Him in any way except our crying for Him. When He sees your sincere desire to be with Him, when He sees you really and deeply long for Him, He comes, He actually runs towards you and before you know your thoughts are flooded by Him. Then you will absolutely experience that you are not producing His syllables, but He is. And Lord Nityananda will bring you at the feet of Lord Gauranga, and Lord Gauranga opens the doors to Radha and Krishna right within your heart. It all unfolds spontaneously just because of our longing for Him. His mercy knows no boundaries…we can’t ‘produce Him, He comes on His own accord.
Daaso’smi Hadai Nityananda dasa